I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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