so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
