i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize