I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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