we made out on top of his cat.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
