let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
