His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
