when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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