im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
