It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
