no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
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Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later