Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
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The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been