so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.