...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.