i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
