Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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