All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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