I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
