You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize