You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
