Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
