I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
