hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
