giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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