I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want to fling myself into the sun
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize