i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
