I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
