We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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