??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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