But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
