Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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