there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
