I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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