how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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