Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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