I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
