he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
