I only kidnapped one of them. chill
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
