just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
