Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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