I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
