why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
