Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
