How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
