took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I checked into jail on foursquare
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
