Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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