..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
