What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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