you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
