so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
