look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Houston, we have a blender
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize