If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
