There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
