ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
