Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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