quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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