so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
