Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
