He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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