I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
