GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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