I wish my penis had an off switch
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
