dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
