So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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